I was on the road for chili promos virtually all weekend, Saturday in Rehoboth Beach, DE at Peppers and Sunday at Big Dogs Paradise in Mechanicsville, MD.

Neither venue was as busy as I’d hoped, but the weather was great the last couple days so I’m sure lots of folks were enjoying a weekend outside for a change instead of hanging out in places like shopping centers and bars.

Nevertheless, the people I did meet seemed to really dig the chili and pepper sauce. Success isn’t necessarily determined by how much stuff you sell but rather by the number of people who buy it after sampling it. So, proportionally, I’d say the weekend was very successful considering I probably made a sale to 35-45 percent of the people who tried my products. And hey, unless you’re selling drugs or sex, you really can’t realistically expect much more than that!

With that, here are some photos. The first batch is from Peppers.


I’m really liking my new banners that advertise my website and awards.

These vivacious Nutterz reps were big fans of T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili. (I think they were fans of me too until they realized I’m old enough to be their father. From now on I am 27.)

This dude had to be the highlight of the weekend. He told me he’d never even eaten chili before, and after trying mine he literally begged his dad to buy the spice mix. So he did …

… and by the time they left with spice mix and pepper sauce in tow, my sticker was already slapped on the family SUV.
Seriously, you can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm and endorsement. The best advertising is still word of mouth, and that’s because nothing compares to people who actually like your stuff so much they want to tell everyone about it. It was great meeting this family. Thanks for everything, guys! 

On to Big Dogs Paradise …


I was afraid I was actually gonna break more bottles than I sold. Every time I stirred the chili, my display rack shook back and forth.

Speaking of “display racks,” Lisa and Katie from Bully Bling Energy Drink pose with their first samples of the chili.

Bully Bling Girl Katie sneaks in to snag some more while I’m away.

Sean Bowman promotes his RC racers and homemade track for the crowd.

I think Stiff Willi and NASCAR could make a good team.
Posted in Chili, Fans, Pepper Sauce, Promotions, Spice Mix | Comments Off

So I found out last week I’ve been giving away chili illegally the past two years.

That’s right … in Maryland you need a PERMIT even if you want to give away food for FREE. Because, you see, you’re not smart enough to figure out whether or not you want to put a teaspoon of someone else’s food in your mouth.

Well, that’s probably only half right. If the state gave a crap about your health and safety, a health inspector could always show up and stick his little thermometer in your food to make sure it’s up to code. This is effectively what I told the St. Mary’s County inspector last week — if you want to regulate me, regulate me; if my food isn’t in compliance with your arbitrary standards, shut me down.

But of course, that’s no good — that way they can’t get their $42 permit fee every time regular ol’ motivated citizens set out to, god forbid, stimulate the economy. Yep, just here to “keep us safe!”

So in a nutshell, this guy would need a permit in Maryland.

Posted in Chili, Promotions | Comments Off

Big weekend of October promotions scheduled as we run up to the DC Metro Cooking Show the first weekend of November. I’ll be at Peppers in Rehoboth Beach, DE this Saturday (Oct. 22) from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. and at Big Dogs Paradise on Sunday (Oct. 23) from 2-6 p.m. for football, the NASCAR race and the inaugural Bully Bling Energy Drink 500.

Posted in Chili, Pepper Sauce, Promotions | Comments Off

Planning for the DC Metropolitan Cooking & Entertaining Show has taken up the bulk of my time the past week, but I wanted to give a quick shout to all my sponsors, without whom I wouldn’t be able to attend this event (or at the very least it would be a heck of a lot more financially burdensome and stressful):

Law Offices of Kevin J. McDevitt, AirTec, Apple Basket, Bully Bling Energy Drink, Catamarans Restaurant, Chesapeake Custom Embroidery, CSI, Inc., iLuMinA Solutions, Inc., McNelis Group, Ol’ Gringos, Patuxent Family Dental, Smokey Joe’s Restaurant, St. Mary’s Lighting, Thomas Allan, Inc., Tiki Bar

I truly appreciate the confidence and support of all my sponsors, especially those that have been with me over the past two years helping to finance my biggest promotions. The DC MCES should be the best one yet!

Posted in Friends and Family, Promotions | Comments Off

Now that we’re full-on into Fall and office chili cookoffs are in full swing, a bunch of people have asked me for my competition chili recipe that I used when I won the DC101 Chili Cook-Off back in 2009.

Good thing for you I’m not like all those stuffy cooks who think recipes should be locked in a vault, huh?

Just the opposite, I think good food should be shared with good friends, even if that means they get to buy all the ingredients and cook it for you once in a while! I’m actually pretty amazed at how many people are stunned that I’m willing to share an award-winning recipe — for free. But hey, you can’t spread the love by locking it away. And anyway, if you’re buying my products to make my recipe, we all win, right?

With that, here’s my Texas-style chili recipe that started it all (read the full story here if you like). This is the first batch of chili I ever entered into a chili cookoff, and it took home top honors at one of the biggest regional cookoffs in the country. In short, you get to take three months of my own trial and error (and a fairly decent amount of bourbon consumption) and create the best batch of chili you’ve ever tasted. Or so I can only hope. Good luck!


My competition batch of T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili at the 2009 DC101 Chili Cook-Off, about a half-hour in and well before it knew it was The Man.

INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 pounds chuck shoulder steak
1 1/2 pounds top sirloin
1 tablespoon Crisco shortening, to cook
1 small yellow onion, minced
2 tablespoons vegetable oil, to cook
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (14-ounce) can Swanson’s chicken broth
1 (14-ounce) can Swanson’s beef broth
1 (10.75-ounce) can Hunt’s tomato puree
1 cup (1 bottle) T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili Spice Mix
2 green chiles (from 4-ounce can of whole Ortega chiles), seeded and minced
1 thick-cut pork loin chop (bone in) wrapped in cheese cloth (optional)
2 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt, more to taste

DIRECTIONS
1. Reserve 4 tablespoons of spice mix and set aside, splitting remaining mix into halves.

2. Cut beef into 1/4″ cubes and store in vacuum-sealed bag if not using immediately. (Freezing steaks 5-6 hours prior to cutting makes this much easier.)

3. Add vegetable oil to large stainless steel stockpot set to low heat and sweat onion with 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt. In a separate pan, brown beef in skillet with 1 tablespoon Crisco shortening, 2 teaspoons kosher salt, and 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce until meat is no longer pink. Drain completely of fat using a colander and set aside.

4. Add broths and tomato puree to pot and bring to boil. Reduce heat to low and add first half of the spice mix, half of the green chiles, garlic, beef, and pork chop and stir. Cook fully covered at barely a simmer* for one hour, then add second half of spice mix. Cook an additional hour, making sure chili is just barely bubbling.

5. Remove pork chop and add remaining green chiles and spice mixture. Reduce to gravy consistency (this should take about 15 more minutes) then remove from heat for at least 10 minutes before serving. Give final taste for salt.

* I could probably charge 100 bucks a pop for this tip, but it’s extremely important that you do not cook this chili at a rolling boil. Doing so will not only shred the meat — if that happens, why bother taking all that time to cube it? — but also fail to create the gravy consistency that is so crucial to Texas chili. You want the water vapor to escape very slowly, not force it to bead up on the stockpot lid and simply fall back into the chili.

Posted in Chili, Chili Cookoffs, Recipes, Spice Mix | Comments Off

It’s official! T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili will be a vendor at the DC Metropolitan Cooking & Entertaining Show Nov. 5-6 at the Washington Convention Center.

30,000 people. Paula Deen, Guy Fieri, and Giada De Laurentiis will be the guests. Beer, wine, spirits, and the best chili on the planet, all for a $25 entry fee.

I’ll be giving away free chili while it lasts and running promotional specials all weekend. I’ve got a corner booth in between the bar and the stage, so we’ll be right in the thick of all the action.

This is the first time I’ve done a formal trade show-type event of this magnitude so I really don’t know what to expect, but one thing I know for sure is it’s always a party when Team Stiff Willi rides into town.

Don’t miss it!

Click here for a listing of all participating exhibitors.

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Here’s my chili with beans recipe that won the People’s Choice Award at the 2009 ICS World’s Championship Chili Cookoff. You can make this right in your home by following this recipe that’s also conveniently located on the label of my spice mix bottle.

INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 pounds ground chuck
1 small yellow onion, diced
1 small green bell pepper, diced
1 (14 1/2-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (29-ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup (half-bottle) T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili™ Spice Mix
1 (16-ounce) can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 (16-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
Salt to taste

DIRECTIONS
1. Add 2 tablespoons oil to stockpot set to low heat and sweat onion and bell pepper until soft. Season with 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt.

2. Turn heat to medium high/high and brown ground chuck, continually stirring to cook evenly. Season with 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt.

3. Add diced tomatoes and crushed tomatoes and bring to simmer. Add garlic, Worcestershire sauce, and spice mix. Stir thoroughly, then add beans and reduce to low heat. Cook for 2 hours at the point where chili is just bubbling, and stir regularly.

4. Taste for salt and remove from heat. Allow to rest for 30 minutes before serving.

TIP: I like to add 1 cup of Swanson’s chicken broth to my batch upon removing from heat. I find it gives the chili a smoother flavor and works well with the spice mix to create a bit of a gravy consistency.

Serve in chili bowls with sharp cheddar cheese, sour cream, and T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili Pepper Sauce as desired. Serves 6.

Posted in Chili, Chili Cookoffs, Recipes, Spice Mix | Comments Off

A couple months ago I announced that I’d begun development for a chili starter — a sauce that you could simply add to ground beef, allowing you to make T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili in a fraction of the time it would take to prepare all the ingredients from scratch using the recipe on my spice mix label.

But then, after putting the first sample batch of chili starter to the test, I decided it would be better to offer a starter sauce for my Texas-style competition chili instead. I thought, rather than just giving customers a simpler way to make the same kind of chili they can make by using my spice mix today, why not give them the option to make an entirely different version just as simply!

For the past two years, customers have been able to use my spice mix to make my chili w/ beans recipe that won People’s Choice at the ICS World’s Championship in 2009. However, by offering them the option to make my Texas-style version, they can replicate the chili that’s responsible for starting it all — my competition batch that won the DC101 Chili Cook-Off in Washington, DC earlier that same year.

So it was back to the drawing board with the manufacturer. I asked them to whip up my Texas-style sauce and they did a very good job. I gave it a quick test and, aside from needing a bit more salt and chili seasoning, it was spot on. Sadly, however, everything pretty much went to hell once the company sent me the manufacturing costs. I’ll spare you all the details, but suffice to say I’d have had to charge you, dear customer, at least 8 or 9 bucks per jar. And what was worse, the manufacturing costs alone — to say nothing of label or freight costs — priced me out of being able to ship through my distributors.

So I was pretty bummed for a good couple weeks. I knew it would be expensive to ship glass containers, and the costs of packaging them so they wouldn’t break easily weren’t going to be low either. But it was a risk I was willing to take in order to allow customers to make my chili right out of a jar.

But then I had an epiphany. I was discussing all of this with a friend at work a few weeks ago, and she asked me why I didn’t just want to offer the chili starter in dry mix form. “I already offer a dry mix,” I said, “plus I didn’t want people to have to add any extra ingredients.”

And then she said something that, if I’m being honest, I’m pretty embarrassed I didn’t just realize on my own.

“If people already have to brown the meat in order to add the sauce, what the hell’s so hard about adding some onion and tomato sauce too?”

Technically, it’s tomato puree. But OK, I got the point.

I couldn’t wait to get home that same night and test out a Texas-style recipe using my dry spice mix as the base. Turns out all I really had to do was tweak it with the right amount of salt and figure out how much water I’d have to mix it with to make the gravy the right consistency.

In all honesty, even with the research involved during the cooking process, I think it took a whopping 20 minutes from beginning to end. That shouldn’t be too surprising if you knew how many freaking batches of chili I’ve made over the past two years, but my point is this: If it only took me 20 minutes to figure out the proportions of all the ingredients, it will obviously take you much less time if all you have to do is read the instructions off the back of a package.


Here’s the chili that will soon be made by all using the best Texas-style chili mix on the planet. Well, fingers crossed anyway.

I taste-tested the batch using my wife and three(-almost-four)-year-old as guinea pigs, and I was literally ecstatic as we devoured it. My son had to put about three tablespoons of sour cream in his bowl to tame the heat, but the blend was perfect. I couldn’t believe how closely it resembled my competition batch that takes about two and a half hours to cook; I couldn’t believe how perfectly the gravy complemented the meat; I couldn’t believe it took this long to figure out this was the direction I should go (I also regret that I had to waste the sauce manufacturer’s time while I figured it out); and I couldn’t believe how affordably I’d be able to offer this to customers.

I couldn’t believe I’d pretty much just invented the best damned Texas chili mix in the entire country! (Did that sound pretentious? Wasn’t supposed to.)

The only drawback to this new product will be that I’ll probably have to manufacture it myself if I want to be able to compete with the rest of the market, afford distribution, and have a shot at getting it into larger supermarkets. And the manufacturing itself won’t be nearly as much of a pain in the ass as having to go through the headaches of getting licensed by the state to prepare the chili mix myself, with all the regulatory hurdles and whatnot. But hopefully it will be a small price to pay in the long run.

Some of the biggest benefits, however, are that I’ll be able to ship in paper or plastic packaging, which will be much lighter and therefore much cheaper to ship than glass jars. And instead of having to absorb the expense of elaborately padded cardboard boxes — costs that eventually get passed on to customers — I’ll be able to toss the packages right into padded envelopes and send them on their way to eagerly-awaiting Stiff Willi fans.

Best of all, I made two gallons of this super-quick Texas-style chili for the Solomons Beach Bash this past weekend, and it was a huge hit. I’m not just saying that because I’m trying to sound cool in a blog post; people were literally asking me for entire bowls of it instead of the 2-ounce samples I was giving away in souffle cups.

So hopefully you’re as excited about the forthcoming T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili Texas Chili Mix as I am. Feel free to share any thoughts or questions in the comments.

Posted in Chili, Spice Mix | Comments Off

I was so sore yesterday I literally didn’t even feel like sitting at my computer to upload these photos. After being on my feet for over 12 hours Saturday during the Solomons VFD End of Summer Beach Bash, I needed a day off. But it was worth it.

Despite the overcast skies and a little rain, the weather turned out to be all anyone could really hope for after how crappy the past week has been. For the most part it was warm out, everyone stayed dry, and the skies didn’t open up until — of freaking course — 11 p.m. at the very moment we broke down the canopy. So cleanup was a bitch.

But like I said, it was all worth it. A day of drinking, slinging chili, and hanging out with your friends is better than a poke in the eye. So big thanks to my buddies Brian and Darrin for soldiering up for the festivities and helping me work the tent, and to Stiff Willi Girl Scottie for making her Stiff Willi debut. And the wives even showed up around dinner time to finish off all our vodka!

Not cool, ladies. Thankfully there was a liquor store next door.

The crowd didn’t really start pouring in until 5 p.m., and that’s a shame because most people didn’t get to see the band Synergy, which went on around 3 I believe. I’ve got to throw them a link to their facebook page because this band was tight and a nice treat for the early partiers.

That said, we really got our jam on once No Green JellyBeenz and Sam Grow Band took the stage. They alternated for five hours and lit the place up. Seriously, both bands were phenominal and they brought the place down when they teamed up for Don’t Stop Believin’ to close the show. Excellent touch.

With that, here are some photos of the evening. Honestly, I didn’t really have much time to snap photos all night because I was busy blowing through almost eight gallons of chili samples in five hours. If anyone has any pictures they’d like me to post, just email them to me and I’ll put ‘em up.


Nice stage presence for Bully Bling Energy and T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili. (Photo credit: Mike Batson)

Darrin gettin’ after it. As he likes to say, it’s 11 o’clock somewhere.

Vic Guido, owner of Bully Bling, and BB Girl Katie stop by to say hi. (Photo credit: Mike Batson)

I had a nice little run of putting Stiff Willi tatts on boobies. Almost makes you feel like a celebrity.


I should’ve hired Kelly to take these pictures for me! She’s the one responsible for all those fancy t-shirt shots you see around this site.

Stacey’s mom’s not the only one who’s got it goin’ on. So does Stacey.

Playa

Here’s hoping Darrin’s wife got the hint.

Bully Bling Girl Katie with the cook (Photo credit: Mike Batson)

T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili: Not just good IN your belly!

Stiff Willi Girl Scottie making Randy’s night

That’s right. You can even get a Stiff Willi tramp stamp!

Stiff Willi Girl Scottie posing with the Bully Bling Girls (Photo credit: Mike Batson)

After hours in high heels, it was time to go with the flops. Oh, sorry … that’s not what you were looking at? (Photo credit: Mike Batson)
Posted in Chili, Fans, Fundraisers, Pepper Sauce, Spice Mix, Stiff Willi™ Girls | Comments Off

I don’t even want to say this out loud because I don’t want to jinx anything, but this weekend is looking pretty decent for an outdoor event. 80 and sunny so far on Saturday, if you can believe it, so the weatherdudes must have it wrong.

But here’s hoping for a great day because I’m ready for a freaking party. I feel like I haven’t done anything but yardwork this summer and it’s already almost October. Seriously, WTF?


Hurricane clean-up alone took about two weeks, and we still haven’t gotten any of the fallen trees removed yet.

Anyhow, I have some new information on this Saturday’s End of Summer Beach Bash at the Solomons Volunteer Rescue Squad Fire Department for anyone who’s up for rocking the night away. For starters, here’s a link to the SVRSFD page explaining what’s on tap for the day. Basically, it’s an all day party with bands, beer, and food where people can check out all the speedboats that will be on hand following the day’s offshore races on the island.

Specifically, I will be setting up my booth next to Bully Bling Energy Drink around 11 a.m., though I probably won’t kick off my promo until 4:00 or so. I’ll be there all day, however, so stop by and have a beer with me. Stiff Willi Girl Scottie will be on hand for the promo and I’ll be giving away samples of chili for a mere $1 donation to the SVRSFD. (Stiff Willi Girl Katie will be there too, only working right next door with Bully Bling on this evening.)


Stiff Willi Girls Scottie and Katie

I’ll also have my spice mix, pepper sauce, and t-shirts on hand for purchase at discounted prices, and I can even take credit cards now on site. The promotion of the day will be a free t-shirt with the purchase of any four bottles of spice mix or pepper sauce!

No Green JellyBeenz and Sam Grow Band will be providing the musical highlight of the evening, alternating sets between 5-11 p.m., so be sure you don’t miss them. The stage is set for a great time, so come enjoy some award-winning chili, wash it down with ice cold beer, meet the Stiff Willi Girls, and if you’re lucky maybe you can convince one of them to slap a (temporary) Stiff Willi tattoo on you!

Posted in Chili, Music, Pepper Sauce, Promotions, Spice Mix, Stiff Willi™ Girls | Comments Off

Last night my buddy and I went to Olde Town Pub to catch an acoustic gig by No Green JellyBeenz and also to meet two brand-spankin’-new Stiff Willi Girls, Katie and Scottie, who will be working next week’s promo with me during the End of Summer Beach Bash in Solomons, Md.

Unfortunately I had to be the designated driver, but the band was so good that I actually didn’t even mind taking the night off. Heck, could it be that I’ve discovered a new way to enjoy live music?

Okay, maybe not. But let me tell you, I can be pretty crabby when I have to watch everyone else drinking and having a good time, so the fact that I didn’t even care that I was slamming water should tell you all you have to know about these guys.

Here are a few photos from the evening. Apologies for the poor quality; there’s only so much you can do with a camera phone in a dimly-lit bar.


Wes and Rich, two-fifths of NGJB, who will be rockin’ the Beach Bash next weekend in Solomons, Md.

Stiff Willi Girls Scottie and Katie

Talent

We tried to leave by 11:30, but for some reason my friend Jason came over and insisted on having his picture taken about 30 times.

Be sure to come see us next Saturday at the Beach Bash, where you’ll find plenty of free chili, hot chicks, great music, and product specials! Oh, and this time the cooler will be stocked.

Posted in Music, Promotions, Stiff Willi™ Girls | Comments Off

I’ll be heading to the Olde Town Pub in Leonardtown tonight to check out a No Green JellyBeenz acoustic gig and to meet a potential Stiff Willi Girl for next week’s throwdown at the Solomons fire department — better known as the End of Summer Bash 2011.

If you’re in the area, stop by and buy me a beer!

Posted in Music, Stiff Willi™ Girls | Comments Off

As frustrating as kids can be, their obliviousness to the stresses of life is considerably enviable. At least it is to me, as we’ve dealt with a tornado, earthquake, and Cat 1 hurricane all in the past two months.

In friggin’ Maryland of all places.

Take, for instance, Biggie Smalls the First. I noticed tonight that he’d been working on his chocolate ice cream cone for about 15 minutes while he watched Scooby Doo before bed.

“Hey, is your cone melting all over the place yet?” I said.

“Yeah.”

That was it. Didn’t even take his eyes off the TV to answer me. And notice plenty of paper towels just sitting unused beside him.

I guess sometimes you just have to laugh.

Posted in Friends and Family | Comments Off

Check out the new stiffwilli.com QR code. If you haven’t signed up for our mailing list yet, simply scan this code with your smartphone and enter your email to receive future discounts and free stuff from stiffwilli.com!

Of course, you can still join our list by signing up over there on the right sidebar, but this is just too cool.

Many thanks to Jen Bates Stotler for all her help with this!

Posted in Fans, Promotions | Comments Off

I was at Vera’s Beach Club in Lusby, Md., on Saturday to watch No Green JellyBeenz perform during a bikini contest. After a full friggin’ week of rain compliments of Tropical Storm Lee, this day of fun in the sun was much anticipated. There’s really nothing better than a great rock band and a bunch of scantily-clad broads.

The girl standing with the emcee ended up winning, though my vote was for the blonde on the far right. No contest if you ask me, but … no one bothered to, either.

Obviously no one’s going to believe me when I say this, but I was much more interested in seeing NGJB’s show than I was the bikini contest. Up till now, I’ve only seen Wes and Rich play acoustic (acoustically?), which is fantastic in its own right, but these guys are outstanding as a full band. I’m a sucker for live music, so being able to hang out with some friends and get a chance to meet the rest of the guys in the band while my kids played on the beach just made for a great day.

I promised the guys a round at the bar after the gig, but by the time I saw them start to filter in after packing up, we were on our way out. The kids had finished dinner and were starting to get restless. (Too bad I didn’t get a photo of the chocolate milk my son threw all over the floor. It seems like it’s always “30% tip” night every time we take the kids to dinner.) So next time, it’s two rounds on me!

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Here’s a photo of my brother-in-law Tom rocking his “Put a little spice in your wife life” shirt at the iconic FAO Schwarz.

Of course, it’s a little icky that the wife in this instance is my sister, but hey, I guess that’s the price you pay for free advertising!

Posted in Friends and Family, Stiff Willies around the World | Comments Off

Come party with us on Sept. 24 at the Solomons Fire Dept’s “End of Summer Bash 2011″!

We’ll be setting up next to Bully Bling Energy Drink so come sample some free chili and hang out with the Stiff Willi Girls. No Green JellyBeenz and Sam Grow Band will be rocking the joint from 5-11pm, so don’t miss this!

Check out the facebook page for the event here.

Posted in Music, Promotions | Comments Off

I’m very excited to announce that T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili is an official sponsor of outstanding Southern Maryland rock band No Green JellyBeenz!


No Green JellyBeenz rocking Red Eye’s Dock Bar this summer

We’re all about having fun by bringing good friends and good food together, and a party’s never really a party without great music. So of course this affiliation is a natural fit with the Stiff Willi mission. Looking forward to great times ahead!

Posted in Fans, Music, Promotions | Comments Off

The weekend had so much promise. It really did.

Last Wednesday my wife asked me if I was interested in going to a preseason Washington Redskins game with a few people from her office the following night. It’s painful enough watching a Skins game during the regular season, so I politely declined.

“But we’re invited to another company’s private box.”

Oh.

Suddenly visions of a rather mundane football game turned into a night of binging on food and alcohol on someone else’s dime, so clearly I was in.

I had to show my ticket to no fewer than three security folks even after we got to the box level of the stadium and the last guy said, “Don’t get too drunk!” then laughed and said, “I’m just kidding, get as drunk as you want!” as he opened the door to the suite.


50 yard line and everything

As we walked in I noticed some chips and dips scattered about the tabletops, a chafing dish with hot dogs and chili, and some tasty-looking pita wraps sitting on the bar. Not bad, I thought, even though I was expecting stuff like chicken wings and maybe even shrimp or sushi rolls. But what do I know? I’ve never been in a box before.


Me and Whatsername

Within five minutes we were visited by a Redskins cheerleader. Well, she was an off-field marketing rep with aspirations of one day cheering during games, but she was dressed in a cheerleading uniform nevertheless. Unfortunately, I don’t recall her name. There was a time when I was almost effortlessly able to remember the name of any girl I wouldn’t have minded having sex with, but since there’s no chance of that ever happening again, I guess I just reserve my brain’s storage space for other things. For what it’s worth, I think her name was something like Danielle or Stephanie — something very cheerleadery-sounding at any rate — and she was nice. After all, she let me take a photo with her even after I told her I planned to exploit her sexiness for blog hits.

And that’s just about where my fantasy night ended. It turned out that the box owner was a vegetarian non-drinker, so we were treated to all the soda, eggplant, and tofu chili and hot dogs that we could handle. I don’t even know if it was really eggplant that was in the wraps or not, I just know it wasn’t chicken or beef. And any money I could’ve used to buy a basket of chicken fingers and fries evaporated after I bought one round of $12 drinks.

Funny thing is, at first I actually thought the owner threw us a bone with the hot dogs and chili despite his own culinary preferences. It wasn’t until after I’d eaten two hot dogs that one of the company’s managers told me they were made of tofu. Honestly, I thought they were a little “off,” but I have to admit they didn’t taste as bad as I thought tofu products would taste. I tried plain tofu several years ago at a buddy’s house and I had to spit it out, so maybe it’s just gotten better over the years.

In any event, the hot dogs were one thing but I just couldn’t get over the fact that someone would make chili out of tofu. I’m hardly a chili purist, as I’ve mentioned before on this blog — chili isn’t really chili if it’s made with anything but beef, but at the same time I advocate cooking and eating whatever makes you happy — but clearly this was pushing it. The dogs were actually edible, but the chili was just nasty. (I can help with that, by the way!)

Who knows, maybe I’m just a chili snob. But I don’t think so; I think my vegetarian chili recipe stands to refute any such allegations. It just would’ve been a lot easier to eat the “chili” if I had a fifth of bourbon to wash it down with. Just sayin’.

I’m truly thankful for the invite to the game despite the wholesale lack of two of my favorite things: free meat and alcohol. But whereas I was so excited to kick off the holiday weekend with a fun party night (I even had Friday off!), it just turned out to be a bit of a letdown. Looking back, though, I can’t help but appreciate the jokester working the door of the box who “cautioned” us not to get “too drunk.” Talk about getting the last laugh.

Posted in Chili, Sports | 1 Comment

I’ve been making my cheesesteaks for a long time, and I can tell you they’re going to be only as good as the rolls you use.

I can also tell you that the ones I found for this recipe were not that great. Good, but definitely not great.

They weren’t spongy enough on the inside, and what’s worse, they were too doughy. They also weren’t nearly firm enough on the outside. If you can get your hands on Amoroso rolls, you’ll be in good shape. Problem is, it’s hard to get decent bread anywhere unless you live in the city, where generally there are at least a couple good family-run bakeries. And you can’t even get Amoroso rolls unless you buy wholesale from a food distributor, and they usually won’t even talk to you unless you own a restaurant.

On the bright side, you might be able to find a local sandwich shop that uses Amoroso rolls, or ones of similar quality, and see if they’ll sell you some.

That said, don’t not make this cheesesteak just because you have to buy rolls from the local grocery store or deli. With any luck you’ll find some that you like (or that you can at least live with) while you search out a source for truly outstanding bread.

INGREDIENTS
1 sweet onion, sliced
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 tablespoon T-Rev’s Stiff Willi Chili Spice Mix
1 pinch kosher salt
1 pound ribeye steak, thinly sliced
4 slices American cheese
4 slices provolone cheese
4 cheesesteak/sandwich rolls
1/2 cup Kraft mayo, more or less to taste
1 cup iceberg lettuce, shredded
Seasoned oil (recipe follows)
Salt and pepper to cook

Seasoned Oil
:
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 pinch ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano flakes

DIRECTIONS
1. Bring medium saucepan to low heat. Add oil, onion, spice mix, and a healthy pinch of salt and sweat for 10 minutes, or until onions are nicely caramelized. Stir occasionally to prevent onions from burning.


These would make any sandwich pretty.

2. While onions are cooking, prepare seasoned oil by whisking all ingredients together in a small bowl. Preheat oven to 400⁰F.

3. Place one sandwich roll in oven on middle rack and bake for 5 mins. (Set timer so you don’t forget about it.)

4. Bring stainless steel skillet to medium heat and brown 1/4 pound of steak. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and shred into small pieces using two metal spatulas. Fold in one slice each American and provolone cheese until melted.

5. Remove roll from oven and slice lengthwise. Outside should be almost crisp and inside should be hot and spongy. Spread 2 tablespoons mayo on roll (adjust to taste) and add grilled onions.

6. Add steak to roll and top with handful of lettuce (about 1/4 cup) and seasoned oil. Serve with lots of napkins.

Serves 4.

NOTE: Although the photos above depict two sandwiches, I cooked them one at a time. I’m making this clarification just to point out that you are to use 1/4 pound of steak per sandwich. And, of course, if you have a large cooking surface such as a griddle, you can certainly prepare as many as you like simultaneously.

Also, if you want to get crazy, mix some of my pepper sauce in with the mayo for more zing.

Posted in Recipes, Sandwiches, Spice Mix | Comments Off